My Relationship with Relationships

I was twelve years old when I first came to realize that people are not all they are cracked up to be.  Aside from being conned into giving away all my Polly Pockets for one meatball mozzarella Hot Pocket (ok so not exactly conned...but I was lied to somewhat..there was only one Hot Pocket left instead of two) I hadn't up until that point had many lies told to me.  I remember clearly being just a weird looking pre-teen and thinking that relationships, whether it be with friends or boyfriends, were nothing that ever needed to be second guessed.  And then, I grew up. 

It was heartbreaking at first, when I first came to the realization that people have the ability to lie and leave and manipulate and hurt you without any reason at all.  I can still tell you exactly what it feels like to look someone in the eyes as they lie to you for the first time.  And when I was lied to by a friend for the first time I was horrified.  If the person that knew me so well could lie without a single second thought then what was stopping everyone else from doing the exact same?  How can I ever know the difference between truth and lie; faith and fable.  I suppose I was naive then and I suppose I still am now.  Because that friend was not the first or the last to lie to me.  And yet I still see what friends can be if you find the right ones.  I've grown into the idea that the people who leave, leave for a reason.  People may not be very convincing, but I will swear for them that they are inherently good.  I believe that to the core of my being.  And yes, I've been used probably more than the average person due to my horrible tendency of blind trust but I have come to appreciate it.  I have been both weary and open to people, and from a first hand narrative I can tell you, trusting is good.  Trusting is worth it.  Because those people, the ones that don't leave, can really change your life.  And even the ones that do still slip away, more often than not, manage to leave a lasting impression before they go.  Good or bad, the people we meet are the people that have something for us.  It is hard, believe me, to try and let go of a deeply rooted friendship and just chalk it all up to experience or a soon to be life lesson, but sometimes that is all it is.  And that's ok.  Because I promise you, there is another waiting for you, and this one might just not leave.  And that's a uncertainty worth finding out about.  Don't be afraid to lose people, because you might just find yourself, and that my friends is the greatest gift friendship of any kind can give you.

Best of luck,
K.